Peace and Pandemonium

Thursday, September 10, 2009


Welcome To My Thought Stream

Once again, Holly Girl to the rescue. Thanks for the inspiration....again.

If you have been curious to know where I have been for the last 3 months, watch this video.
If you've ever wondered what I think in my head regarding photography and my place within it, pay attention because this is EXACTLY how I feel about it.

I cant begin to tell you how deeply I identified with this guy. It was as if he was taking the words right out of my mouth, clearly stating my troubled mind and heart. I told you all that I have been taking a hiatus from photography. Well this is the reason why. Plain and simple. Thankfully, I'm coming around but all of this is still VERY fresh on my mind. In a strange way, I'm thankful for it.

I felt similarly when I decided to write a novel about three years ago, but I refused to read any books on how-to-write-a-novel. To date it has not been accepted by a publisher, but I am convinced it is a good story.

I still like your photography the most, and I don't think it is cliche.
Kiera-girl ... another thought for you to ponder and let percolate. Forgive me if I already shared this before & forgot!

Waiting for permission slows everything down.

I used to wait for permission a lot.  I still wait now, but for other things, like my time or my moment. But that's different from waiting for approval, or admission to a money-making machine (aka industry).
It's different than waiting for someone to swoop you out of a slush
pile and send you more than a letter of admiration.

We spend a lot of time and energy waiting for validation, waiting for
someone to certify our talent so we'll finally believe it for
ourselves.  Waiting for an engraved invitation to arrive on our
doorstep before we do what we really want to do.

So what could you move forward on, if you stopped waiting for
permission and simply wrote the words you can hear are missing?  If
you simply made the thing you want to see exist in the world?  If you
considered that the idea itself IS the engraved invitation, and you
are free to accept or decline?

It is deeply satisfying to do the work I want to do in the world,
right now.  There's no place I'm trying to 'get to' or arrive.  No
middle men green-lighting or red-lighting.  There's just me, making the work that's mine to make, and there's the people who need it, finding it.  We're finding each other, no permission required.
Very inspiring.
"We spend a lot of time and energy waiting for validation, waiting for
someone to certify our talent so we'll finally believe it for
ourselves. Waiting for an engraved invitation to arrive on our
doorstep before we do what we really want to do."

This video, your post, Holly-girl's comment above........HOLY CRAP!!!
Those are my exact questions!
Am I a hack?
Should I just give up?
Why am I still doing this when I know I suck and everyone else just doesn't have the guts to say it?
Where's my validation???

This is what I think; YOU are not a hack. You got something there. You have the "eye" (now that's a cliche!) Please Kiera, don't give up. Besides, I need you to do shoot me for my project...still need you to email me!

Keep it up!!!
I reposted this on my blog. Geeze.
Zack is an amazing man... and he IS an amazing artist. Period. I had the pleasure of taking his One Light Workshop a couple of years back and man that guy... wow.
I've seen this clip a couple of times now and every time I see it, a new a-ha moment awaits me. I struggle every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY, but from those struggles blooms a metamorphis if you will. It still sucks though, I always want to quit.
Oh and, thank you so much for the kudos on Rebekahs prego pics. AND YES I want to get together. SOON too.
I think all artistic types go through this, some more often than others. I mean, I didn't draw anything for anyone for about five years after I graduated because I thought it was crap, and when people asked about it or pushed it, I'd get more stubborn about not doing it.
Same with photography, poetry, children's book writing, all things I've enjoyed in the past but convinced myself that no one else would like it so why bother.Maybe I'll try those other things again, but maybe not.

I've noticed that photography is becoming the cliche thing for many stay at home people to get into; I have two friends right now that are trying to do it, but I think they have a long way to go.
But let me tell you, as one trained at least a little in artistic things, I don't think your style is cliche or amature. Its not a passing talent, you have the artistic eye.....keep at it. I love your work!
I refused to be embarrassed by the tears rolling down my face.

I echo so much of what this man said, and I'm not even an artist. In any way, shape or form. But caring about what others think? Wondering what in the world you're doing with your life? Wondering if you're a hack? Um.....YEAH.

I understand you feeling the same way. We talked about it more than once. So don't think what I'm about to say is dismissing what you're feeling, because that's not what I'm doing. I just want you to know you create BEAUTIFUL art. You see and emphasize things that no one else does.

One of the things that struck me as I watched this video is my own life's work, namely, my children. I may say they are my life's work, but are my actions consistent with that? Not hardly. I need to teach them, and savor them.

As a photographer, you capture moments that people will forever savor. I know you struggle with creating something new, and feeling like an artist behind the lens. But remember that the photos you take will be treasured, no matter if someone else has posed in the same way before or not. Because of you, I'll always have the cutest little picture of Eric's plummer's crack. And Isaac's grumpy face. They are common-place right now, but won't be (hopefully!) in 5 years. And I don't want to forget what those things look like! That's what you've given me, Kiera.

It's fine to search for ways to be better, just don't forget you're already pretty freakin' awesome.
Once upon a time I allowed my artist self to be transformed by a commandment.

Thou shalt not judge

That includes yourself!
For me, photography is cathartic and healing. It's also my ultimate form of worship - to strive towards mastering those talents that my God sent me here to work on; to discover new ways to serve Him and others through my talents.

Sometimes it's too close and I have to leave it for a little while. Have to let it percolate, simmer. Those times are just as powerful, just as meaningful, just as necessary as my most prolific times - to me.

P.S. I second (or third?) the praise and accolades - you have an amazing eye! And I don't even care that saying it is cliché!
it is looking so amazing, stephanie! what an awesome experience - thanks for sharing, it's so fun!
Um, I honestly and truly think you have a rare talent. You inspire me and I know you inspire so many other people. On the other hand, I do feel your pain and wonder if this is the right course to follow as well. I hope your choice is not to quit. You're too talented to do that.
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home


December 2007   January 2008   February 2008   March 2008   April 2008   May 2008   June 2008   July 2008   August 2008   September 2008   October 2008   November 2008   December 2008   January 2009   February 2009   March 2009   April 2009   May 2009   June 2009   July 2009   August 2009   September 2009   October 2009   November 2009   December 2009   January 2010   February 2010   March 2010   April 2010   May 2010   June 2010   July 2010   August 2010   September 2010   October 2010   November 2010   December 2010   January 2011   February 2011   March 2011   April 2011   May 2011   June 2011   July 2011   August 2011   September 2011   October 2011   November 2011   December 2011   January 2012   February 2012  

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]